


Pick yourself back up, ace!

by bestboyakaashi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Crushes, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Sad Bokuto Koutarou, at first, comforting akaashi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-09
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-02 14:25:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13320042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bestboyakaashi/pseuds/bestboyakaashi
Summary: "He didn't want the year to end, or his time with his friends. He didn't want the practices to stop, or having to leave the school gym for the last time. He didn't want to stop winning matches because of the synchronization Akaashi's sets had with his spikes. It didn't matter if he found a setter with the same level of skill as him, or even more. It wouldn't be better because it wasn't Akaashi.Before he noticed it, he was overthinking again. When did thoughts of Keiji start to fill his head? He didn't notice that, either."





	1. Chapter 1

For the past few hours, Fukurodani had been playing a really tight practice match, in their gym, against another team from the prefecture.   
 Akaashi set the ball for Bokuto, confident that his toss along with the other's strength would break the opposite team's block. Yet this never happened; Bokuto's spike was stopped, it fell on the floor right next to him, making them lose the point and giving advantage to their opponents.   
 The setter couldn't believe it, and Koutarou even less so. One more point and they would be defeated.   
Bokuto's frustration was evident, and for him to become depressed at such a critical stage of the match caused the whole team to lose.   
 He didn't hide his state when they had to shake hands with the winners, nor did he while stretching, and he was definitely not in the mood for putting the gym in order.   
 What he wanted to do, though, was to keep practicing his spikes.   
The rest of the team looked worried, normally their captain's sadness didn't last this long, and he was back up with only a few compliments. But today that didn't happen, something was different.   
When a few teammates started to approach him nervously, they were stopped by Bokuto's voice.   
  
_"Akaashi"_ He called, his tone off. The setter looked at the near players as if saying "I'll take care of it this time", which caused a sigh of relief from each one of them as they started picking up their things in order to leave. They were done for the day.   
__  
_"Yes, Bokuto-san?"_ Akaashi replied, walking towards the other. Hearing his name said by the other in such a monotone and "normal" way was strange, uncharacteristic.   
  
_"Toss to me."_ He said, dryly. Something was wrong; normally, when he wasn't satisfied with how he was playing, he simply didn't want to play anymore because he was sure that, if he tried again, he would fail.   
 Keiji nodded as a reply, he was always willing to set a few more balls for Bokuto, even if he was tired from the long match they had been playing a few minutes ago.   
 He got in position and waited for the other to do the same before throwing the ball upwards over his head for impulse, then setting it when it came back down for Koutarou to spike perfectly over the net, yet he looked far from satisfied.   
  
_"Awesome as always, ace."_ Akaashi praised, hoping it would finally lift Bokuto's mood.   
__  
_"If I was being blocked... It wouldn't have went through the net."_ He was completely serious with his words, something upsetting considering this guy was on the top five best aces of the whole country. This fact didn't make him stop. " _I know you're wasting your perfect tosses with someone like me... But do it again."_   
  
Akaashi sighed, he didn't want to be complimented by him if it was going to be by putting himself down. He actually didn't want to be complimented at all. He knew what he could and couldn't do, so he didn't need someone to reassure him, not like Bokuto did.   
Anyway, he compelled and tossed again, getting another great spike from the ace, now even stronger than before, but his face remained the same. Maybe even more frustrated as he spiked a few more times.   
  
_"Again, Akaashi."_ The spiker was looking down, sweat running down his face and sticking his clothes to his body, forming dark and wet circles in his back and chest.   
  
_"No."_ Keiji replied. _"Not until you tell me what's wrong."_   
__  
_"Huh? Nothing's wrong. I'm just not getting it the way I want to, that's all."_ The captain's voice was still way too serious for his usually cheerful personality. Akaashi could see clearly that he was lying.   
__  
"You think I'm going to believe that, Bokuto-san? I know your spikes, and I can see that they are good as usual. Even better, I dare say."   
  
_"I want to keep practicing..."_ Bokuto mumbled, almost sadly.   
__  
_"I said no. It's going to be bad for your health to over-do it. And it's not improving your mood, either."_ Akaashi frowned, almost unnoticeably, before continuing. _"If you happen to get hurt or anything like that because of training too much, you won't be able to play for a while, and that would be the worst case for a third year like you, right?"_   
__  
_"You think I don't know that...?"_ Koutarou closed his hands into fists. _"You think that's not what I think about every day while counting down how many practices I have left with you and the others?!"_ He raised his voice more with each word and his eyes became watery, breathing faster when he stopped talking. He was exhausted, even if he tried to deny it.   
__  
_"So that's what this was about..."_ The setter looked down for a moment. _"Let's go home, Bokuto-san"_   
  
The ace shook his head stubbornly, not wanting to look at Akaashi in the eyes.   
  
_"That wasn't a question."_ He stated firmly. _"I'll walk you home."_   
  
This time, Bokuto turned his head slightly, looking at the other almost innocently. The way he was acting was so unusual, it was even more painful to see now that he knew the reason.   
  
The way to Bokuto's house was quiet, neither of them exchanged any words. Normally, he would be able to start talking about anything, even if the setter wasn't much for conversation, but this time he was just as silent as the other. It wasn't very difficult to notice he couldn't get the subject out of his mind by looking at his troubled expression.   
 The third year's room was just as Akaashi remembered; medium sized, but appeared smaller due to the mess the other refused to clean. It wasn't excessive, but the black haired would often tell him to tidy it, only getting Bokuto to pick up a few things before getting completely distracted again.   
 On other situations, with the spiker's mood being much different, Akaashi would tell him that, if he had so much energy left, he should use it in doing some cleaning. To what Bokuto would reply that he'd rather use it to go for a run.  But today wasn't one of those days.   
 As soon as they arrived, the ace threw his backpack on the floor, flopped onto his bed and pressed his face against the pillow, letting out a muffled yet deep sigh.  Keiji sat on the bed after leaving his bag next to the other's. After a few moments, the younger broke the silence between them.   
__  
_"Do you want to talk about it now?"_   He asked quietly, to what Koutarou nodded into his pillow as response before heavily getting into a sitting position and hugging his own legs, not even sure how to start talking.   
  
_"I'm scared, Akaashi..."_ He finally spoke, his head facing down.   
  
_ "Scared of what, Bokuto-San?" _   
  
_"Of the future... Having to leave the team and all of you..."_ It was evident how painful it was for Koutarou to say those words, but Akaashi just listened to him patiently. _"Getting into a bad mood earlier made me think about how there will be no one to lift my spirit back up once I'm in college... I will actually be a burden there. And after that, I just couldn't stand making the team lose today... What if it's like that at every match next year? What if I'm not as good as everyone expects me to be?!"_ Bokuto looked close to tears, and Keiji couldn't stand his unceasing negative words anymore.   
  
_"Bokuto-san"_ Akaashi stopped him, making him lift his head. _"Are you listening to yourself? Do you think people would expect something from you if you weren't good enough for it? Do you think the first years would look up to you so much? Not only the ones at our school, but at every high school's volleyball team in Kanto?"_ Even though the setter had a limited amount of expressions he used, his eyes showed anger, yet his voice remained calm.   
 He couldn't understand how he was the one who had to give some sort of "motivational speech" to his own captain, the ace of the team, whose name and skill were nationally praised.   
 Bokuto let out a breathy giggle, then looked at Akaashi forcing himself to smile.   
  
_"You're really going to be the best captain ever next year, Akaashi."_ He stated. His voice uncharacteristically serious.   
  
_"Stop thinking about next year, Bokuto-san. This one's not over yet."_   Was the simple reply.   
  
The third year's grin was genuine this time as he moved himself forward and wrapped his strong arms tightly around Akaashi, bending down to bury his head on the other's chest and sighing deeply.   
 Keiji complied gently, patting the other on the back when he felt the hug was lasting too long.   
  
_ "Bokuto-san?" _   
  
The older boy quickly let go, as if he had not realized how long he had been in that position.   
  
_"I-I'm so sorry, Akaashi! It just..."_ He looked down with his eyes before mumbling. _"...felt comforting..."_   
  
_"If it makes you feel better..."_ Akaashi dragged himself backwards on the bed until his back was laying against the cold wall. Then, he made a gesture with his hands, indicating Bokuto to come closer. He obeyed excitedly, resembling a dog or a little kid more than an owl.   
 The oldest embraced Keiji, resting his forehead in the crook of his neck. The second year wrapped his arms around the other's shoulders, rubbing circles on his back.  His muscular body was covered in drying sweat from the day's practice, but Akaashi didn't mind since his own was too.   
  
_"Akaashi..."_ Bokuto called after a few moments, tensing up a little.   
__  
"Yes, Bokuto-san?"   
  
_"Can you... You know... Pet my hair?"_ He finally asked.   
  
_ "...Why that so suddenly?" _   
  
_"Because...!"_   The third year buried his face even more into Akaashi's neck, tickling him slightly in the process. _"That's... T-That's how my mom used to comfort me when I was little..."_ The embarrassment was evident by how his voice lowered in volume with each word.   
 The setter sighed and began fiddling with a few strands of Bokuto's hair.   
  
_ "I thought you hated your hair getting messed up?" _   
  
__ "I don't mind if it's by someone like you... A-Also I was planning on taking a shower anyway so it doesn't matter..."   
  
Akaashi nodded, even if the other wasn't able to see him, and started to run his fingers from black all the way to light grey. His hair wasn't as hard as he thought it would be due to the products Bokuto probably used to keep it like that. It wasn't exactly soft, either; Fluffy was the word to describe it. It was fluffy and this newfound texture felt good against his fingers.   
  
 Bokuto's body relaxed completely, finding comfort and peace while only concentrating in how his friend's gentle fingers softly caressed his scalp, touching the back of his neck once in a while and sending a weak chill down his spine every time they did.   
 He tightened the grip on the other's waist when he felt him stopping, he didn't want that moment to end. He didn't want the year to end, or his time with his friends. He didn't want the practices to stop, or having to leave the school gym for the last time. He didn't want to stop winning matches because of the synchronization Akaashi's sets had with his spikes. It didn't matter if he found a setter with the same level of skill as him, or even more. It wouldn't be better because it wasn't Akaashi.   
 Before he noticed it, he was overthinking again. When did thoughts of Keiji start to fill his head? He didn't notice that, either.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Bokuto took in the sight of the gym, it was empty and the net wasn’t in place yet. It was the same gym he saw every day since he was still a first year, but he decided he needed to start appreciating it more. After all, there was where he found true happiness, doing what he liked most, practicing alongside his teammates, spiking Akaashi’s sets with all his might…"

_ “How do you do it?”   _ Bokuto asked the tall male walking next to him after a short silence took control of the conversation; He had spent the cold sunday evening hanging out with Kuroo, just walking around town, chatting about their teams, their lives, making jokes only the two of them could understand… Until that question, the ace had been full of laughter and smiles, but now the sun in his expression was down, just like the one in the sky was beginning to be as well.

 

_ “Do what?”  _ Kuroo inquired with a little laugh. Even if normally he was the only one that understood what Bokuto said, he had no idea what he meant by that.

 

_ “You’re a third year too! How come you’re so calm about leaving your team and all? You didn't seem to think about it while talking about the match you all had the other day…”  _ His voice was extremely quiet now, at least compared to how loud he was being a few minutes ago. This made Kuroo realize that he was not joking anymore, he was being serious for the first time today.

 

_ “Who says I’m completely fine with it?”  _ The blocker smirked.  _ “Leaving Nekoma behind won't be easy, you know? No more training camps, no more Battle at the Garbage Dump... But! That's just natural, I’m sure the team will be fine. Maybe there will be less handsome faces but, still, fine.”  _ He managed to slip a joke into the speech.

 

Koutarou turned his head to look at him, cocking an eyebrow.  _ “You won't miss your teammates? I don't want Akaashi to stop being my setter!”  _ He complained, looking almost like a little kid once again, to what the other snorted.

 

“ **_Just_ ** _ Akaashi? What about the rest, like you just said?” _

 

_ “The others too, of course! But… It's just…”  _ The spiker struggled to find words, folding his arms and looking away until he was finally able to put his thoughts in order.  _ “Akaashi is the only second year of the team! Aside from Onaga, he’ll be all by himself surrounded with new people!” _

 

_ “Hey, slow down!”  _ Kuroo giggled, until he suddenly became serious again.  _ “Akaashi might be quiet, but he doesn't seem to be on the shy side. Kenma, on the other hand… He won't be alone at practice, of course. There’s Inuoka, Lev...”  _ He giggled, remembering the problems the dyed-blonde had getting used to the first-year.  _ “But still… It's difficult for him to be comfortable around other people. He might start isolating himself again…”  _ The concern in Kuroo’s voice was evident, yet he managed to smirk once again before he changed the subject.  _ “So, because Akaashi doesn’t have that problem… Isn’t it just that you’re scared he’ll make new friends?” _

 

_ “Akaashi... wouldn’t forget about me!” _

 

_ “I never said he would, though…” _

 

Bokuto thought about this on his way home. While having dinner. While brushing his teeth. While laying in bed, trying to sleep.

Was he afraid of Akaashi finding a new best friend to replace him? Was that why he had been thinking about the subject all saturday?

His mind wandered, and he felt himself going back to the feeling of thin fingers roaming his hair, leaving tingles on his scalp and nape.

At the moment he was too upset to notice it but, going back, it had been the first time the setter hugged him first.

This made Bokuto’s stomach twist. Of course, they shared hugs before, but they were one-sided most of the time. Akaashi often didn't even return the hug.

Yet Akaashi cared about him. He cared enough to worry. He cared enough to walk him home. He cared enough to show concern and do something he never did.

Koutarou unconsciously gave out a bright smile and, without noticing, he exclaimed:  _ “I care about you too, Akaashi!”  _ out loud, at nothing in particular. He closed his eyes and sighed deeply before falling asleep peacefully, he didn’t even remember what he was so worried about.

That night’s thoughts about his friend sticked with him until the next day. He kicked off the mattress that covered his body and felt the usual cold chill of the morning.

He got dressed with the Fukurodani uniform and, while humming a song that had been stuck in his head, he brushed his teeth, washed his face and styled his hair. When he was finished, he grinned at himself in the mirror, mentally telling his reflection that they were going to see their favorite person today. The person that cared about them so much. With this in mind, he quickly left for school, planning on buying something for breakfast on the way there.

Classes went by slowly, Bokuto commented to his other friends that the hours seemed to have gotten even longer. This, of course, was impossible; Bokuto was just impatient for that day’s practice.

That day’s practice… How many of them were left? Too little for him. He tried to shake the thought out of his mind but at the same time he didn’t want to waste time so, once the final class was over, he rushed over to Akaashi’s classroom with an excited smile, greeting him with a loud  _ “Hey, hey, hey, Akaashi!”  _ as he saw him come out of the door. Koutarou wrapped an arm around the other’s shoulders and grinned, causing a few of Keiji’s classmates to stare at the noisy scene.

As usual, the black haired said his common  _ “Hello, Bokuto-san,” _ in an unenthusiastic tone and moved away from the embrace.

The oldest didn’t know what he was expecting, Akaashi was always like this, yet this time his reaction made him feel different; Something that almost felt like… Disappointment.

Not minding it too much, and both already knowing what to do, they made their way to practise.

 

Before entering the school gym, Bokuto remembered how Akaashi walked alongside him through that path two nights before. When he hugged him. When Bokuto couldn’t get the thought of having to graduate and leaving the team behind out of his head.

His chest felt tight, suddenly, as he opened the door and heard its familiar sound. A sound he heard daily, and would hear every evening for the rest of his life if he could.

Bokuto took in the sight of the gym, it was empty and the net wasn’t in place yet. It was the same gym he saw every day since he was still a first year, but he decided he needed to start appreciating it more. After all, there was where he found true happiness, doing what he liked most, practicing alongside his teammates, spiking Akaashi’s sets with all his might… 

 When he turned around, he saw that the before mentioned was already getting prepared. Without saying a word, the black haired was already tying his shoes.

He sure changed clothes fast.

 

_ “You’re already done?!”  _ The captain exclaimed, an exaggerated expression of surprise taking over his face.

 

_ “I changed at the same pace as always.”  _ Replied the second year, placing his hands on the back of his hips to stretch his back.

 

_ “Guess it’s just me… I’m getting old, you know?”  _ Bokuto smiled and scratched the back of his neck.

It seemed like Akaashi linked the joke to that Friday’s events, because he just frowned slightly and mumbled a  _ “Yeah… Guess so,”  _ before going to get the net from the storage room, leaving the ace behind. Even if the second year was usually this serious, he seemed a little irritated.

Koutarou just sighed and proceeded to change his own uniform, noticing that Keiji was back only when he was tying his shoes. He got up and quickly ran to him, grabbing one of the sides of the net that was being carried by the other.

 

_ “I’ll help you, Akaashi!” _ He beamed.

 

_ “I can do it by myself, Bokuto-san,”  _ Akaashi said simply and continued walking towards the center of the court.

There was a strange tension in the air, one that wasn’t there before, and Koutarou wondered if he was the only one feeling it. After all, his face didn’t have the brightness it always had, and his stomach had this weird feeling of nervousness he almost never felt.

Bokuto thought of walking out of the gym to wait for the others, who would probably be there anytime but, before he could ask Akaashi if he wanted to go too, he began talking.

 

_ “You’ve been thinking about it,”  _ The oldest only replied with a sound of confusion, turning around slightly.  _ “You’re still getting yourself down thinking about the same thing,”  _ Keiji stated, completely sure that this was true. And it was; he had been until that night, where he realized how much the other apparently cared and knew about him.

 

_ “I haven’t,”  _ He lied, his chest aching even more than before.  _ “We don’t have any matches so I’ll be fine today, Akaashi!” _

 

The day went by so fast that Bokuto wasn’t satisfied. This wasn’t enough at all.

As soon as his sweating body stopped moving, the guilty feeling of time running out came back to him, anxiety building up in his stomach and energy needing to be released making his limbs shiver.

 

_ “Akaash-”  _ He began calling when everyone started to walk out of the gym, but couldn’t finish.

 

_ “We’re not doing this again, Bokuto-san.”  _ Akaashi stated, walking towards him.  _ “It didn’t help last time, why would it now?” _

 

 The cold of Akaashi’s words, once again, left him with a bitter taste. Bokuto wished he could take out the other side of the setter all the time, one where he hugged him and laughed at his jokes.

 At that moment, the ace also realized that he had never, in their two years of companionship, seen the other laugh out loud, and that he wanted to. He wanted to so badly, and he didn't know why that thought appeared in his head so suddenly.

It didn't make sense. Akaashi was looking straight at him, his voice disdainful as ever. There were no gentle arms around his shoulders, no fingers running through his hair, yet Bokuto was thinking about the other in the most beautiful of ways.  
None of them spoke for a few seconds, the setter's gaze more intense than usual, until the ace collected his messy thoughts and broke the silence.

“Why are you suddenly acting weird, Akaashi?! Did I do something wrong? Since last Friday-”

“Go home, Bokuto-san.” Akaashi said firmly when he noticed the seriousness the other’s words were beginning to have, Keiji certainly wasn't in the mood to talk about it.

“Go.” He repeated when the tallest opened his mouth again.

Once the second year was finally the only person left in the gym he sat down on a bench next to his bag and sighed deeply, bending down and placing his hands on the sides of his head for a little while, lost in thought.  
Of course Bokuto couldn't understand the change in his behavior. Even Akaashi couldn't understand why he himself was acting like that.  
The young boy lifted his head and sighed once again, lighter this time. He stood up and, motivated by what seemed like frustration, began the warm up routine all over again by himself. 

 

Bokuto couldn't stop thinking about what had just happened on his way home. He didn't understand why Akaashi was being so distant now, when a few days ago he didn't have any problem with comforting him in such a sweet way.  
At that moment, he felt the absolute opposite to the way he was feeling in the morning, and his mood didn't improve during the rest of the day, that was something only sleep could do for him. If he actually got to fall asleep, that is.

**Author's Note:**

> The next chapter will be up as soon as possible!


End file.
